The story of my brother
Hi guys and Assalamualaikum,
Today I want to tell a story that normally I just share it to to my close friends only. But somehow I felt like I want to share it just because it could be something we take as a lesson.
When I was young, I never get along with my older brother. I always get bullied with him. It's not a simple fight, it's more than that. It's very exhausting and mentally disturbing for a young girl. I don't know how i get through it. We've been fighting as long as I can remember. Our age is really close so he always bring me anywhere he went to. I have another twin sister but because of the big gap of age, he never disturb them.
I still remember the days he bought toy for me, that was the last time he's really felt like a brother to me. When we were in elementary school. It's all started. My brother change when he reached 9 years old and he became naughty and rebellious. We're like a south and north poles, so different. My brother was not very good in academic while I was very excellent in school. I was very quiet at school, don't have many friends jus a few. People will laugh now but I used to be so introvert back in the days. I heard that we can change our personality as we grew up.
At school, we never greet each other and act like we were strangers. My brother is quite popular at school. A lot of girls come to me because of that. I really hate it when they compare me and my brother. I used to be very skinny and dark skin. Totally hideous. While my brother was better looking, we looks like we could never be siblings. I still remember my brother will force me to give him my daily allowance so he could bought new games or toys. Otherwise I will get hit. I have no choice as I was very skinny couldn't even fight back. My parents was busy working they never around. At that time, I just pray to god to save me all the time.
There are many occasion I will run away from home. It's because I'm so exhausted to fight all the time. Get hit by my brother, feeling scared in my own house. They were many times I felt like no one by my side. No one even cares if I'm gone. Being a middle child is really hard. My parents never give attention to me. Because I have younger sister that need them most of the time. So me and my brother always get left aside. But I understand because my sister is younger. I get along pretty well with my sister. Looking back to the memories, sometimes we do laugh about it. But at the time, I was really stress. I really want to run away from everything. I'm glad I still alive now even thought the bullying never stops. When we visit our village, my brother make fun of me all the time in front of all my cousins. He sometimes forced the cousins to talk shit about me. The only thing that I can do was crying or talked back to my brother. I was never a violence person, but my mouth is really rude. Hahahah. This is why we could never get along.
When we hit puberty it's getting more serious. We still can talk back in elementary school. But in high school, I just stop talking to my brother. I avoid him most of the time. My brother like to skip school. And when my mum find out, he will blame and hit me even I never told my mum. You know mum instinct is so powerful, that they always find out when their children lie to them. I going through my puberty depends on my friends, I could never share problems to my family, I just couldn't trust them. While my brother when hit puberty was really scary. He had bad temper and get very violence. Me and my sister is very scared at him. My parents can never controlled him. I even get slapped by him. I could never fight back cause I'm not strong as him. I have temper too and always talked back. Cause that's the only things I can do to defend myself. Cause no one sided with me after all. I can never complain to my mum about my brother. Because she can never do anything. She's so busy at work to feed us. Because of this, I develop hatred to men. I used to think that men is trash. At school, I don't even talk to guy classmates. Because I think they waste of time. I don't even have guy friends.
And then when I hit 16, something drastically happen in my life, this has been our turning point for most of us in my family especially my brother. My dad passed away because of sickness. The only men that I love is gone, and never back. At that time, I felt like my world is destroyed. I don't felt the need to study hard anymore. It was useless and meaningless. The reason i study hard because I want to get away from the financial struggles and help my parents but when my dad was gone. I lose my motivation. Then I started to become not so obedient started to skip school, come late to school. I do it about a year. I'm not very good at home. But at school, I care about my academics and behaviour. I tell myself everyday even thought at home my life is a mess, i would never become like them. So i do my best at school for senior year, so i could somehow get away from my family especially my brother. When I was young I resent my parents and my brother a lot, I hate that I'm not born in rich family, hate that I have a brother that is bullying me all the time. My life is full of hatred back then, but looking back now I now know how all these experience taught me about life.
We somehow manage to get over the dark past. Everyone in the family change. My brother start studying in college, and then graduated and started a business. I could never predicted what my brother will do in his life. He's so unpredictable. He has a lot of interest but never stick to it. But he's so determine to change and do it all by himself. He never asked my mum to help his business. I started to gain respect to my brother because of that. I was worried of him at the beginning because he was not good in academics and he quit doing sports after my dad passed away. But he somehow found his way. I started my college years and graduated. Now I move to New Zealand to pursue my degree. While I'm gone, situation at home is getting better. My sister become more independent when they used to depends on me all the time. Then, they graduated school and pursue diploma. Everyone in the family somehow found their path. My mum getting so much happier now and less stress. We somehow manage to get over the financial struggles. I used to not want them as my family but now I'm so proud of everyone of them. I want to be by their side for the rest of my life. Now I know that happiness comes with little things, sometimes it closer than it looks. For example, your family. You don't have to be rich to feel that. Did I told you guys, my brother is married now and he's got kid. hahahaha. I love her wife as she's very kind. His wife is like a bridge that connects my brother with his family. My brother getting more soft now. Their son is adorable too and I couldn't help to smile every single time. I used to not want to even talk about my brother but now I want to brag about him. Cause I know he's being through a lot to come to this stage. We know now that we will have each other back. But we still felt awkward sometimes around each other. We worked on it but takes time. Only now I did realize why he always disturb me all the time. It's because he also get lonely as the he's the only boy in the family. In my life, there is a lot of ups and down but I know that it makes who I am today and I don't have regrets. It used to be painful but now it's meaningful. I want to tell this story because sometimes we felt like it's the end of the world there but there is hope. Time can only tell, you just need to believe it. Also just to clarify, I don't hate men anymore hahaha.Thanks for reading this. Hope you all get motivated. Love EJ :)
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