Rise from the fall
Assalamualaikum and hi to all my readers.
Miss me? You must be. It's been a while isn't it. There is no post yet since last december. So I thought today's post could be an update of what's been going on. The reason I make this blog not just as a platform to inform my readers but also to myself. It's feels super great feelings to help others, to share my own thoughts without being criticized under socially controlled environment. I been so busy that I have no time to write these days. I need to learn how to balance spending time and energy with people and also spending time with myself. Expressing my thoughts clearly. But yeah life have been good. Positive most of the time. Clearly my life is more structured now. Focusing on what matters. Focusing on the "now" than later :)
Just want to share personal achievement this year 2022. I promise myself to become fitter and healthier for the most this year not just physically but also mentally. Actually did pretty well.
1. I successfully finish a 19.4km day hike to Tongariro Alpine Crossing. One of best walks in NZ. Super grateful to join this trip. Meet some really great & inspiring new people and make a friendship through it. It's a healing walks. Heal from the oppresive thoughts. It's was very calming. And I am very proud that I manage to do it despite just 2 weeks last minute preparation.
2. I did my first fun 6.5km marathon in life. So why this is such big thing for me? Anyone who know me personally know that I hate running & any forms of exercise. But I did it cause I just want to play football with my friends but my stamina sucks. So I joined them running occcasionally to improve my stamina. And suddenly I just enjoy it more. So I join it once a week now except right now ramadhan so i took a break. Then I joined this marathon just to motivate myself to be out of my comfort zone. It was not perfect but i did well, finished it in an hour. For a beginner that was great. At least for me. And I am determine to join the run again next year. With more positivity. Maybe join a 10km run pulak for october. We would see.
3. I start a casual badminton group the end of last year and still going strong for it every week till now. I was able to manage it for 5 months so far. I am surprise. I thought i would just play this casually but I am suprisingly commited to play it weekly. I never got interested in sports before. Like NEVER. But I don't know, now I think I like it. I think badminton is super addictive. I always go whenever I've got the chance. If anyone wants to play I always keen to come. Super grateful that my circle of friends is just sports/fitness enthusiast. I got to learn few sports technique from them.
4. I think I got over my depressions. Maybe not fully. Sometimes I am worried. But it was manageable. I know how to manage "that thoughts" now. You know that dark thoughts that came uninvited. I know what my mind and my body needs. I never got properly treated by therapist or anything but I share this journey to my close friends. Sometimes I am stress but good stress. Not the destructive one. I know my mind loves writing cause it's peaceful, expressive and creative . I know my body needs exercise/sports cause it's exciting and fulfilling. I know as an extrovert I need to feed my social needs and also alone time to recharge. I know now the balance. I know to handle my destructive and dark thoughts now. And I'm glad. It's not easy to find the way out. But it is such a grateful journey.
5. I have such a great support system now. Living abroad and away from family is hard. Sometimes it's crazy and I was homesick. Conflicted about what was the best. But I have been blessed with this close group of friends of mine. Some very inspiring and supportive people I've ever met in life. Positive mostly. I just got close with this older friends. Miss T and Miss A. They are both fully grown women. I really looked up to them as role model. Both was super confident womrn and always a leader in their heart. Both are good influence to me. They treat me like their sisters. And I am so happy and grateful that god just send them to me. To guide me. I know maybe I seems a little bit lost of which direction I am supposed to go. But i think i am slowly thought about the future now. With a healthier mindset of course and more motivation to accomplish that.
Oh while we are here maybe I will talk about what I wanted to do in near future not like super super far. So I actually planning to get my residency in New Zealand. I've been living here for abit and can see some future here. For now I would just live for another 2-3 years and we will see where my fate and destiny brings me. I always have plans but sometimes I will improvised or just change it completely if my guy feelings say something about it. I've got a very strong intuition. So that's always my way to make a decision. I know the pros and cons but always will challenge myself if I know I am capable to grow even more. Yeah and before leave New zealand to move on with my life. I was thinking to spend time living in different city like Auckland, Christchurch and Queenstown. Just to explore you know. But yeah my friends just give me this thought that I might can just do photography at queenstown. Since it's has amazing landscape although it quite expensive to live there. But I don't know, I think i dont mind to explore for 2-3 months you know. Oh yeah after New Zealand I will migrate to another country - Australia, Switzerland or I don't know where else. Who knows what's there for me? Out there. The world is out there to be explore The world is limitless. As long as you have that courage to step out there. Step out from your comfort zone.
I know what I want now. I dont mind if my life is not the typical 9-5 life. I know I was destined to be different. To have super unordinary career. 😂
I just hope every step i took is worth every journey.
Pray for me guys. It's 10 last days fo Ramadhan. Gotta start my engine for prayers and blessings this Holy month. See you guyx next time 😊
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