Life too short to be still
Hi guys,
Assalamualaikum lama gak sebenarnya tak update blog. It's been pretty good for me lately. Not like anything big but positive feelings and energy surrounded me. Really thankful for that. So after so long finally I feel like really motivated to do stuff again. Like any stuff
When i flashback to those 3 months of depressing thoughts and unmotivated days. Fuhh I finally can say that I somehow know how to overcome it. Like mundane life is not for me. I hate to live and do the same thing everyday. Gotta be honest I'm fucking hate that. So to coming back to my real self. Aku actually try alot of things. Aku change my routine. Kerja tu kerja but i don't focus on the kerja that aku buat sekarang. Sebab the job itself is depressing so I fill my week with activities. I cannot jump into my old very social life balik. Because it's too much and I cannot handle many people at one time banyak2. Because aku pun baru nak recover with my mental health but I am slowly coming back but with more stability and positive energy. What i did instead, I explore activities with myself that I can enjoy without thinking of anything. I find small circle to explore that just to add a little bit fun.
You know just things that i will never do or just so afraid to do. Like dance and fitness in general. Aku memang suka dance tapi bodo bodo la.. Never to the point that I want to improve in it. But since I started working this job. Actually i lose some weigh sikit so easier for me to kinda move. I really enjoy dance, it does make my daily life fun and energetic. Plus the dance itself really improve my mood. And it just make me feel really good about myself. These days I spend alot of time to plan what I want to do on the weekend. Im so excited when coming to weekend now. Cause I always do something. Right now we just casually start our badminton group for beginners weekly. For now just within our small circle of friends. But well at least, we do something over the weekend. And also it so much fun to do sports with your friends. Anyway all my friends here is so active. That actually really encourage to be more aware of my fitness. I used to spend my weekend at home doing nothing. But with summer coming, I'm just so excited to plan activities to do over the weekend. I really want to feel motivated again. Although i stop looking for jobs because I get so anxiety about it. I tried to take care of my body and my mental health and just generally improve my mood so I can be positive. Im so happy that my flatmates love to join me do activities. I plan on hiking, and badminton play and also I casually joining dance fitness class at local gym in the city. I want to fill my week with activities just you know try to improve stamina and all. On top of that I did some yoga at home to improve my posture and flexibility. For now I just did it alone at home but hopefully in future I will be able to join class in the city.
Actually kat wellington ni there is alot of thing to explore. Like I can join any class I wanted. It's unlimited things to try. And there is so many community support whatever you have interested in. It makes me wondering why I never tried that before. I have lived here for 3.5 years and baru sekarang I really explore this city and try to enjoy different stuff kat sini. Yeahh I am trying really hard right now to find the reason to stay. I am questioning myself everyday about my decision to stay for another year. I am trying to prove myself that there is more this city could give to me. And I shouldn't stop now. I will leave this place when the right time coming. And when me as a person have fully grown with potential and opportunities. It always anxious how the life will turns out. But idk everyone going through it right? Like the process to patch your life.
Hari tu aku ada like really deep talk with a good friend of mine. Like you know we talked alot and he said this words that one of the thing Im holding to right now. " I am in a good place". A place that I have control of my own will. No one holding me back. Im not saying Malaysia is not a good place but I couldn't say Malaysia is a better place than now. I couldn't see my future yet if I go home without pushing my potential to the extend. I know myself. Im very goal oriented. I will do whatever I want even though it looks like impossible to other people. I just need to believe in myself and have support from people that matters. Everytime i called my mum. She keep asking me to go home. To settle in Malaysia. But yeah my ambition is just to keep exploring. I want to find my own values. I want to find myself and figure out the life I wanted. When i finally find it i know I can be better person from today and do a lot of goods to my family and the society. I dont know when will I found what I wanted. But I know one thing I am ready to explore and going through this adventure. I will show it to my mum.. That this would be worthy.
Pray for my journey dipermudahkan. I really dont know if anyone baca blog aku ni hahaha. But I just really want to share it in this blog cause this is important moment in my life. To move forward. Good luck to me 😊
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