Hi Assalamualaikum,

Salam sejahtera dan Salam 1 Malaysia. Bersama saya Eqa melaporkan dari New Zealand secara langsung ke Astro Awani.

Hahaha apa macam okay tak aku jadi news reporter. You know what, suprisingly i ada la jugak consider news reporter as career path despite its own challenges. Tapi yeah takpe kan berangan.

Okay guyss what's up. So today aku nak tells my fun and nightmare stories about my part time job in New Zealand. I have done the Malaysian version of it in the past, but you know time flies so fast that I've got time now to tell part of stories in my life. Anyway sorry kalau this post macam sangat ma-nglish. I guess that's how I am now a very rojak Malaysian.

Okay masa first year aku datang New Zealand, I always wanted to have a part time job. But I waited till my 2nd year to get one just because aku nak fokus belajar first year and you know just try adapting myself with this whole new system of education and lifestyle sini.

So masa second year aku pun hunting part time job and alhamdulillah dapat kerja kat 1 Malaysia stall at food court ni. Aku also ada others few part time job aku buat kat sana. You know living cost tinggi and I want to live a decent life - travelling, shopping. So I worked hard for it. Without further ado, let's get to the point.

1) Malaysian food Stall @ Food court

Pada 1 hari yang indah aku pergi beli makanan kat food court ni. And idk masa tu aku macam terdetik hati untuk tanya whether they needed helper tak that time. Terus bos tu hire aku and aku start la kerja kat situ. I think I stay about a year and a half. I love working surrounding food, I guess korang yg baca my old post tau yg aku dulu kerja pizzahut and thai restaurant. I really enjoy kerja pizza despite their stupid low capitalist wages. 

Tempat tu kecik je it just a standard food court punya stall. Ada 2 lot. Kitorang jual all kinds of malaysian food. Ada roti canai, roti tissue, nasi lemak, nasi briyani, mee goreng, rendang daging and all sorts of Malaysian food. It was really fun to see local - Mat salleh enjoying our beloved malaysian food. I never tau being so proud of being Malaysian. I just realized how precious our food are especially when I moved here. Itu lah orang kata benda dulu depan mata tak reti appreciate, bila benda dah takde baru nak mencari-cari. 

You know what's funny, I felt like malaysian desire to go abroad so much and then when they sampai sana they still looking for Malaysian food balik. Guess what, cause our food is unbeatable. Really. I always looking for Malaysian food for my lunch. I guess a bit part of myself yg traditional ni still ada and I have pride at Malaysian food.

What i love the most about the food stall is the boss is so kind. He always let me bring back food home. Sometimes a lot. And I always munching peanut while I was working haha for snacking. I used to being a kitchen assistant at pizzahut so I guess I okay je do all the kitchen prep. For me it's really a chill job. Tapi time busy memang busy la. And also senang nak solat sbb owner malay so dorg paham. That is one of the job I really sayang and have to quit sebab they have to  closed down because of covid. Really sad for it to be happen. I mean kalau tak best why would I stay for a year and a half. Their food is really authentic malaysian food. Owner pulak orang johor so I mmg suka gila ah food kat situ. 

Manis moment and bad moments pun ada tapi sbb owner aku jenis yg tak toxic so If it's just one worker toxic dia tak effect sgt compare tu boss yang toxic. You know what I mean. Best part ah kerja situ aku belajar masak and kitchen prep. I learn about being efficient in preparing food. I really want to thank cik yazid and achik to teach me a lot. Achik yg banyak bagi wise advice and never once being petty to share me cooking skills. And Cik Yazid yang always layan my weird story although dia malas nak layan tp still angguk dengar aku sembang. Also dia sabar je dgn perangai clumsy aku yg tak pernah ingat muka customer. And also Mak Itam yang felt like a mother to me. I always thought you guys like my family. I definitely will visit you guys in Malaysia soon. Nasib baik kampung aku dekat je dengan dorang. 

Thanks la Cik yazid for hiring me, I know I am such a headache but really, thanks for accepting me as who I am.

2) Cleaning 11 tingkat office building

Okay guyss. I told you guys I've got few others places I have been working since I've live in NZ. So aku kerja sini time end of my 2nd year and during summer break. Aku tahan 4 months je.

Here's why :

- They give me 3 hrs and 15 min to clean the whole building. So basically the building ada 11 tingkat. But ada 4 orang pekerja. Setiap orang buat 1 chores. Whether it's vaccuming, clean toilet, wiping or clean kitchen. But 1 chores for the whole level. Even if there is deep cleaning needed they don't even give us extra hours which is extra sucks.

- Always have not enough supplies and we have to figure out how to keep everything in stock. Kena topup tissue everyday sbb apparently dorang pakai tissue system macam tu. Yang very incovenient. Should just toilet rolls instead. 

- Work division was hardcore unfair. We have 1 supervisor and 3 staff. Yang aku tak puas hatinya. Supervisor aku really cut corners and do the easiest scores which is wiping table je. Bukan wipe tingkap ke cermin. It's really not fair and he didn't even help his subordinate when we needed. He just arah other staff to help even other staff have already full on their plates. I really hate him so much for doing that. It's really hard to explain to him our concern sbb macam cakap dengan spender basah. Btw he's from india and really stubborn. Idk la but i hear It's really need strong head to work with Indian. They just really stubborn. Not try to be racist but I have top be careful afterwards. Not everyone obviously but tu lah. Haih And aku with another staff je yg have to switch chores every week. So whether aku buat vaccum or clean toilet

- Manager is useless. Me and another staff which is actually my friend try to talk with her and express our complaints about the supervisor tapi sbb dua dua sama bangsa sama india. Cakap dengan dia sama je macam cakap dengan spender basah. Tak bergerak macam tu je. What worse when manager try to take side on the supervisor which idk what you thinking mam. Kau tak kerja dgn dia, Kitorg staff yang kena tahan hari-hari. Thank god it's just 5 days a week. And also aku pernah eh sakit period cramp so dalam policy company boleh je inform manager kalau takleh dtg sbb sakit in less than 4hrs before. So aku inform within that time. Guess what dia cakap just try to wait for period cramp to be okay and kalau okay datang je la kerja. I was so speechless, so aku cakap aku rasa aku mmg takleh dtg since aku tak larat. Dia still insist to call like an hour before work pastu aku cakap aku memang takleh baru dia mengalah jugak. Like hellooooo where is your common sense. I get kau tak cukup org but you the manager there must be backup and better system when this happens. There is so many bad things about thsi company and how they actually manage their staff. Fucking unbelievable

- Crazy amount of work : Okay bila aku cakap crazy I really mean this. 1 person to clean 33 toilet in 3 hours. Tell me how it's not crazy. On top of that they demand a deep cleaning for 2 lvl at least for everyday which taking more times. I punya nak adapt tu sampai I have to clean 1 toilet in only 5 min which is macam lunatic. Nak kena topup tissue lagi like kau gila ke. I have only have total of 15 min for 1 toilet men and ladies and then OKU toilet. Kalau terlebih masa I will be running out of time. As soon i finish one lvl i have to run like I was in fucking marathon to get to the lift with my big ass loaded trolley. Sorry ah aku swearing tapi bila ingat balik camne tah aku tahan. 

- Itu toilet punya cerita. While kalau kau on vaccuming. Kau kena help org toilet collect all the toilet trash from the whole building. This take at least 30 min and you have to run again like a fucking marathon. Baru we can start our own job. See la macam mana tak gila.  Lepas habis to kena vaccum emergency stairs the whole building pulak. Dah tu supervisor aku buat apa. Bawak perut je kehulu hilir. Dia selalu bagi alasan tak cukup masa nak supervise. Luls I bet he even checked our own work. I don't even know what he was doing, sbb dia selalu siap awal and lepak kt room. Vaccum pulak office of course la kena check 1-1 bawah table dorg. Mula2 aku kerja situ aku rasa macam this is fucking impossible, tapi idk how I cuba jugak buat. Tapi memang penat takyah cakap macam haram. Aku rasa aku lose weight gak ah. Balik je rumah kaki aku macam menggeletar nak jalan pun susah. Obviously company ni mmg gila labour abuse. Nasib aku tak report je kat Jabatan buruh sini. Bila aku cerita kat orang pasal job ni no one can believe their ears. 

- So my tips kalau nak cari kerja cleaning at least find 4 hrs min and ask them how big is the building. Cause I can say all cleaning job is a very physical job and need set of standard fitness to be able to cope. Anyway different company different policy. 

Btw on top of these crazy job I also kerja kat malaysian food stall in the morning and this cleaning job at night during summer. Literally my life just being so pathetic to find money to survive. Tapi aku happy sebab dgn duit ni la aku mampu nak balik malaysia every year and visit my family and also bring back gift for the. I also grateful that I able to help my family when dorg susah. 

And then guess what aku berhenti and balik Malaysia for few months and then Covid happens. Aku mmg dah stop kerja cleaning tu sbb hardcore sangat. But still keep the food court job. Since nanti aku nak study dah I can only manage 1 job at a time. Adalah kerja sampai around march ke april. Pastu Lockdown hahahahaha. Dan saya pun tanam anggur for about a year. Yeah a year without income. Nasib Mara ada tapi kena ikat perut la. Korang yang eager sangat nak gi abroad ni you guys need to know the reality. It is tough. Apa yang org study abroad semua share apa yang desirable je kat social media. That's why our mentality thought it is better out there. It is better yes if you look at the high living wages but also high living cost. I don't even have to say how much I pay for the rent. You guys can google it by yourselves. It's crazy. 

Citer dia memang la it's 3 times bigger currency dari malaysia. Dah tu bila kau duduk sini kau still kena beli all groceries and necessities and berapa je kau boleh saving. Boleh kalau kau tak beli apa apa. Just ikat je la perut. Bagi aku rugi dah dtg jauh2 tapi tak explore negara ni. Tak travel and it's such a waste. You have no idea how beautiful New Zealand. It's another whole universe of nature. Whether is wild or not. It's fascinating. My best view i will say Ruapehu snow mountain and Sunset at the Wharariki Beach. It's so beautiful. Bagi aku nature kat new zealand ni is so untouchable. They do really care about the environment. Things that we should try to incorporate it back home.

So while aku stop kerja for while I've got to focused more on my final year as a film student. Sumpah challenging. You have no idea to shoot during pandemic camne. Dah la buat documentary. Pening sis, anyway it was a great success. I will talk about it in a different post and yeah just talked about it. Btw kerja aku tak habis lagi. I've got one last job

3) Cleaning at Museum ( Early morning shift)

When I said early it is really early. Waking up at 4am and go to work at 5am. Pastu ends at 9am. Actually this is my current job. After aku habis study I decided to stay for a bit and manage to get this job you know sementara cari kerja in creative fields. It's not that I want to kerja cleaning but I have to survive. So what choices aku ada. Boleh je kerja retail ke apa tapi sbb kerja ni early morning so it won't meddle much time during the day. So aku boleh buat my own personal creative project or just improving my skills. Cause aku still nak keep active buat stuff that really is my passion. This job is not so bad apart from waking up so early. You got to come to museum it's a great place to start your day. Kalau ada lebih masa boleh tengok the exhibition and baca all the history there. It's so fun to me.

Actually I really interested to work at a museum or working on an exhibition project. Really keen. So I thought working here I can learn a lot of stuff too. And it's a physical job yeay to improving my fitness level. Aku actually ada macam impian untuk bawak this whole new experience of museum to Malaysia. I just thought museum kat Malaysia sangat basic and boring and tak innovative. Museum should be exciting and inviting sbb you know it's the place where we learn about the culture. I hope that Malaysia will spend some budget to work on our museum so we can protect our heritage. It also could be improve tourist industry. 

Kerja museum ni okay la tak hardcore sangat cleaning yang penting siap ada break lagi. Supervisor pun really chill baik je sgt memahami. 1 je cons dia : bangun awal pagi which is kena tidur awal which is aku tak boleh. When you are such a night owl. It's a struggle to change the routine haha. Aku sampai terpaksa ask my best friend to help call me from Malaysia. Guna whatsapp ah. Aku set je alarm tapi kdg2 brain aku taknak bangun sbb to deep in sleep. So tu je la citer dia. Aku baru je kerja tempat ni so I don't see what worse yet. I hope I can stay for a quite time. 

Korang doakan la hidup aku dipermudahkan rezeki kat sini. Aku cuba guna this platform to help giving people knowledge and also sharing my real experience. I bet you won't really see much about the reality of living abroad. It does come with many stakes. But at the end of the day It's you call to choose. For better or for worse. You do you alright. 

Sekian saja my post untuk kali ni. Semoga kita bertemu lagi. Aku macam nak keep posting every month la. Hopefully aku boleh istiqamah. See you next time. And yeah feel to ask any question. 

Reach me out here - inspiredgeeks.ej@gmail.com

Assalamualaikum,

Hi guys what's up 2021? How are you guys doing. The moment i writing this, there's a million things running through my head. I don't know where to start but i will start tell you guys a story.

End of the December of 2020, I was hospitalized because of some sickness. Not gonna expose what was it. Just know I was sick. There's actually a lot happening in December 2020. I was busy working to survive and get enough money to pay rent and to pay for my cost living. Along with the preparation of getting work visa. It's a hell of work. I won't say I'd never get busy like this but this time is really stressing me out. Nothing stressing me out the most when in doubt whether I have enough to cover my living expenses this month. The fact that I haven't got job yet cause job application keep getting rejected because of the visa. I was living my day worried about this stupid shit thousand times a day. And one day I collapsed, got warded for almost a week. When I was sick, I actually very much depressed cause I was all alone. In a place that foreign for me and was far away from my family. What I'm gonna do if it really serious?

When I was in hospital, I tried to be positive and taking care of my health and not thinking about those other shit of problems. I was actually quite happy in the hospital. I being taken care by nice nurse everyday. I was happy. Cause imagine before hospitalized, I was sick for a week like shit. I felt so much depressed, and nobody even asked not even my housemate. That's the most painful things for me. Like make me realized how much family is important to myself. How much I need those support and to know who's by my side. When I got hospitalized, I realized that I still have friends that care about me come to visit after hearing the news. I immediately know who's by my side. But obviously after I've got discharge I have to take care of myself again. You know growing up become independent, yes I am used to take care of myself. But at some point, you reach the exhausting phase. Where you need some dependency. It's human nature you depends on other person when things get rough. 

Sometimes I was wondering am i making a right decision by staying here after graduate. My destiny seems to against me in every path. It just being so incredible hard on everything. All of my plan goes to waste. Is this really worthy? What's next for me? I'm confuse? Is there any rainbows? My plan to stay is because I want to explore the possibilities. It is risky. I don't know if i can say myself a risk taker or not. But when I do something, I will work my ass off to work on it and finish it. I'm willing to take risk because I believe in myself. But because of my situation I start to doubting myself. Can i make it? What's the plan tbh? For now it's a blank canvas. It won't be something if i'm not starting my ass to craft or sketch or at least conceptualize. What's need to be done so when i leave this country i don't have any regrets. Can I capable enough to independently start my own project? And i also have to work to gain money right. Dreams vs reality. It's a tough choice. What is dream anyway? Im living my 25 life and still asking myself what I want to do for living. What will make me feel content and also make me successful and gain a lot of money. Not for myself but for my family and future one. 

I want to at least repay my mum back. That's all I have to do at least. My mum is my inspiration. She's being diligent her whole life. Growing up I have a lot of conflict with her. They way we think doesn't really go a long with each other. Make us always fighting with our own belief. But I realize that she is the perfect mum anyone will asked for. Although we didn't get along much when I was in high school. But now she's my biggest supporters. She always believe in me. Not many "asian" parents will allow their daughter to study film abroad. Like seriously not many. I never heard any of my friends study creative arts except for architecture design abroad. Film is not the ideal career for a lot of parents. I took risk to learn this. For me, i rather learn something i love, than force myself to learn something i know will make a lot of money but i won't feel content with my life. Live with many resentment is not the ideal life that i want to live. It's okay to make a mistake but it's important to rise back on our feet again. My ideal life is to be a career successful women. Of course i want to have a family but i have to patch my career first. Cause I believe in order for my family to be happy, i have to be happy first. 

Im not living my life to be a housewife. A big no. Im not against any housewife out there. What you guys doing is really admirable. it's not easy to sacrifice for the family. And I don't think Im able to do that. I like to be passionate with my job. I don't know if i able to balance my work and my family in future. I won't think that much about cause I don't have anyone pun hahah. And also I won't get married until I really sure with my career path. Im a late bloomer. I bloom late. hahaha. Im not good in dating. I don't know what's needed in relationship. Okay Idk why we're in this topic but I just want to touch some topics about getting married seems like a trend to young adults now. I am quite surprised how everyone was like in this fucking marathon try to win this competition of who married first. Okay obviously korg nak cakap biarlah their jodoh. Okay i don't against anyone who married that already have career and have some stability in life. Tapi yg tak stable tu, isn't it's a gamble to married at such a young age. Marriage needs compromise and it does comes along with a bigger responsibilities. I just can't see myself getting married now and still doesn't see myself to be responsible for my family. I would say yang nak cepat2 nak kawin awal ni a bit gatal hahaha. Idk i just see a lot of broken marriage infront of me. So idk. It's tough. 2 different people coming from different background to live together for freaking years ahead. Making decisions together. Marriage is like getting a housemate, roommate but if we not get along at the end of the day, It's fucked up. This is not renting a flats together and the lease ends in a year. There's no way out.  

Okay I think that's enough for me ranting for young marriages. Im not totally disagree with it but i do feel we need more time to explore our individuality. It's our life, live a little. Hahaha anyway for those who read this please pray for my health and semoga my path is a bit clearer this 2021. It's a rough start i would say. A big of chunks giant stones infront of me that i have to sorted out. Give me courage to go through it. Sekian wassalam. And Malaysia happy quarantine. :)

 Hi guys and Assalamualaikum,

Today I want to tell a story that normally I just share it to to my close friends only. But somehow I felt like I want to share it just because it could be something we take as a lesson.

When I was young, I never get along with my older brother. I always get bullied with him. It's not a simple fight, it's more than that. It's very exhausting and mentally disturbing for a young girl. I don't know how i get through it. We've been fighting as long as I can remember. Our age is really close so he always bring me anywhere he went to. I have another twin sister but because of the big gap of age, he never disturb them. 

I still remember the days he bought toy for me, that was the last time he's really felt like a brother to me. When we were in elementary school. It's all started. My brother change when he reached 9 years old and he became naughty and rebellious. We're like a south and north poles, so different. My brother was not very good in academic while I was very excellent in school. I was very quiet at school, don't have many friends jus a few. People will laugh now but I used to be so introvert back in the days. I heard that we can change our personality as we grew up. 

At school, we never greet each other and act like we were strangers. My brother is quite popular at school.  A lot of girls come to me because of that. I really hate it when they compare me and my brother. I used to be very skinny and dark skin. Totally hideous. While my brother was better looking, we looks like we could never be siblings. I still remember my brother will force me to give him my daily allowance so he could bought new games or toys. Otherwise I will get hit. I have no choice as I was very skinny couldn't even fight back. My parents was busy working they never around. At that time, I just pray to god to save me all the time. 

There are many occasion I will run away from home. It's because I'm so exhausted to fight all the time. Get hit by my brother, feeling scared in my own house. They were many times I felt like no one by my side. No one even cares if I'm gone. Being a middle child is really hard. My parents never give attention to me. Because I have younger sister that need them most of the time. So me and my brother always get left aside. But I understand because my sister is younger. I get along pretty well with my sister. Looking back to the memories, sometimes we do laugh about it. But at the time, I was really stress. I really want to run away from everything. I'm glad I still alive now even thought the bullying never stops. When we visit our village, my brother make fun of me all the time in front of all my cousins. He sometimes forced the cousins to talk shit about me. The only thing that I can do was crying or talked back to my brother. I was never a violence person, but my mouth is really rude. Hahahah. This is why we could never get along. 

When we hit puberty it's getting more serious. We still can talk back in elementary school. But in high school, I just stop talking to my brother. I avoid him most of the time. My brother like to skip school. And when my mum find out, he will blame and hit me even I never told my mum. You know mum instinct is so powerful, that they always find out when their children lie to them. I going through my puberty depends on my friends, I could never share problems to my family, I just couldn't trust them. While my brother when hit puberty was really scary. He had bad temper and get very violence. Me and my sister is very scared at him. My parents can never controlled him. I even get slapped by him. I could never fight back cause I'm not strong as him. I have temper too and always talked back. Cause that's the only things I can do to defend myself. Cause no one sided with me after all. I can never complain to my mum about my brother. Because she can never do anything. She's so busy at work to feed us. Because of this, I develop hatred to men. I used to think that men is trash. At school, I don't even talk to guy classmates. Because I think they waste of time. I don't even have guy friends. 

And then when I hit 16, something drastically happen in my life, this has been our turning point for most of us in my family especially my brother. My dad passed away because of sickness. The only men that I love is gone, and never back. At that time, I felt like my world is destroyed. I don't felt the need to study hard anymore. It was useless and meaningless. The reason i study hard because I want to get away from the financial struggles and help my parents but when my dad was gone. I lose my motivation. Then I started to become not so obedient started to skip school, come late to school. I do it about a year. I'm not very good at home. But at school, I care about my academics and behaviour. I tell myself everyday even thought at home my life is a mess, i would never become like them. So i do my best at school for senior year, so i could somehow get away from my family especially my brother. When I was young I resent my parents and my brother a lot, I hate that I'm not born in rich family, hate that I have a brother that is bullying me all the time. My life is full of hatred back then, but looking back now I now know how all these experience taught me about life.

We somehow manage to get over the dark past. Everyone in the family change. My brother start studying in college, and then graduated and started a business. I could never predicted what my brother will do in his life. He's so unpredictable. He has a lot of interest but never stick to it. But he's so determine to change and do it all by himself. He never asked my mum to help his business. I started to gain respect to my brother because of that. I was worried of him at the beginning because he was not good in academics and he quit doing sports after my dad passed away. But he somehow found his way. I started my college years and graduated. Now I move to New Zealand to pursue my degree. While I'm gone, situation at home is getting better. My sister become more independent when they used to depends on me all the time. Then, they graduated school and pursue diploma. Everyone in the family somehow found their path. My mum getting so much happier now and less stress. We somehow manage to get over the financial struggles. I used to not want them as my family but now I'm so proud of everyone of them.  I want to be by their side for the rest of my life. Now I know that happiness comes with little things, sometimes it closer than it looks. For example, your family. You don't have to be rich to feel that. Did I told you guys, my brother is married now and he's got kid. hahahaha. I love her wife as she's very kind. His wife is like a bridge that connects my brother with his family. My brother getting more soft now. Their son is adorable too and I couldn't help to smile every single time. I used to not want to even talk about my brother but now I want to brag about him. Cause I know he's being through a lot to come to this stage. We know now that we will have each other back. But we still felt awkward sometimes around each other. We worked on it but takes time. Only now I did realize why he always disturb me all the time. It's because he also get lonely as the he's the only boy in the family. In my life, there is a lot of ups and down but I know that it makes who I am today and I don't have regrets. It used to be painful but now it's meaningful. I want to tell this story because sometimes we felt like it's the end of the world there but there is hope. Time can only tell, you just need to believe it. Also just to clarify, I don't hate men anymore hahaha.Thanks for reading this. Hope you all get motivated. Love EJ :)