Living on the edge
Hi guysThe moment I write this, I was not really in a good condition. I was really living on the edge.
I was staring at blank green fields, building and the sky. I am looking for signs. Signs to keep living
I wake up today go to work and then looking at the sunrise and I just suddenly burst into tears. I was looking for anyone to lend their hands. I've been struggling mentally alot. I always ask myself question. I always try my best. But right now i feel so stuck, feel so empty and lonely. If i sick nobody knows. Nobody love myself. If i gone did anyone care? If I get sick I don't even know who to call. That sorts of feeling I am feeling right now. This moment. I want to go home. But people keep on saying Im not try harder. Im not grabbing the opportunity that comes. That I just being too emotional. Am I?
What do i really want? I don't even know. Im afraid of both direction I want to go forward but something holding me back. It just hard to maintain the sanity. I don't have anyone to talk to. That willing to listen. Everyone was just try to advice without consider this depression. I want to seek for help but I don't know who should I go to. Who I can trust? I've been keeping it all alone. I've been avoiding this feeling. I separate myself from people. So they don't have to see me breaking down.
I don't know if i am doing the right thing? I really want to see my family. I want to see counsellor. But idk who i should contact. Im afraid Im not able to get out from this..
That's why I just wrote this feeling here. So one day I can see this again and hopefully I will be better
Right now Im just looking. Looking to nowhere
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